Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. NAME: Robert Francis O’RourkeAGE: 46CURRENT JOB: DrifterPREVIOUS JOB: CongressmanWHY DON’T WE CALL HIM “BOBBY O’ROURKE”?: His grandfather was Bobby O’Rourke and … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Beto O’Rourke
We’re deep in the middle of the 2020 presidential election but it’s March of 2019 and we should not be in the middle of an election that’s still nearly two years away. In an effort to restore some sanity to the earth, here’s a very nonsensical listicle. You’re… welcome? There are currently fourteen candidates with campaigns or exploratory committees who we’ve profiled in the Who … Continue reading We’re ranking the Democratic candidates by how silly their names sound
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. For the first time, let me welcome you to the nightmare that is the 2020 Presidential Election from the comfort of … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Marianne Williamson
On my personal Facebook a week ago, I revealed that there were some big changes happening in my personal and professional lives. Fundamentally, those changes boiled down to one big one: this project, which has been a pet project for me, is now a work one. Throughout March, Salt & Granite will slowly convert into Owl Line, a Patreon-backed service from the fine folks at Glyphcore (of … Continue reading What’s changing with Salt & Granite?
Today, we’re talking about something a little different. Rather than continuing what at least one experimental psychologist calls a “very excellent” series on the 2020 Democratic candidates, we’re going to talk about someone who is absolutely not running for president: Timothy Michael Kaine. In case you don’t remember – and you might not remember – Tim Kaine is a senator from Virginia who, in 2016, … Continue reading Why isn’t Tim Kaine running for president?
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. Another day, another torment. We continue our nonstop around the clock coverage of the slow-moving train crash that is the 2020 … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: John Hicka… John Hinken… Ol’ Johnny H
Batten down the hatches and get below deck, it’s the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates. We’re continuing this eternal struggle with today’s newest candidate because I’ve learned that you really want to know about the news as it happens and not a couple days later. Weirdos. NAME: Jay Robert Inslee AGE: 68 OCCUPATION: Governor of Washington PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: Congressman DISLIKES: Climate change LIKES: The taste of … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Jay Inslee
