On July 15, 2016, Donald Trump tweeted that Indiana governor Mike Pence would be his running mate. Pence had a reputation as a deeply religious man and a fiscally conservative politician. Looking back on it now from the wild west of 2024, it’s easy to imagine that Trump could have selected anyone he wanted. Trump today is a convicted felon, an adjudicated sex pest, and … Continue reading Who wants to be Trump’s #2?
The third Republican debate was held on November 8th on NBC – and was uploaded to YouTube officially this time. Each debate seems to be getting easier to find on streaming, so that’s something. With only about two months left until primary voting starts, time is running out for candidates to figure out how to campaign in a way that appeals to voters more than … Continue reading The Third Debate Was Better, but it’s Still a Fight for Second Place
Welcome back for a truly unpredictable episode of Who the Fuck Are All These Fucks? as eight – that’s right, folks, eight– Republican members of Congress try to get the rest of their party to agree that they should be the one who gets to be the next Speaker of the House. As a reminder, Jim Jordan recently had the opportunity to run against technically … Continue reading Eight Republicans think they’ll be the one to win Congress’s heart
What’s that? It’s presidential primary season?! Well, I guess it’s time for your resident debate hate-watcher to come out of hibernation and check out the first debate of the 2024 cycle. I hope being over a week late isn’t too far off to be topical. The first debate of the Republican primary was on August 23rd, exclusively on Fox News (and exclusively available online on … Continue reading A Primary Debate Without the Primary’s Leading Candidate
Darlings, scoundrels. Again, I have not had time to correspond with you since Nikki Haley announced her bid so many years ago (it feels, at least). There are so many more Republicans in the race now and we will do our best to cover them in order of how much I hate looking at their faces. You can decide for yourself which end of that … Continue reading 2024 Candidates: Mike Pence
My precious angel babies, did you think I had forgotten about you? Yes, things have been very busy at the secret underground pyramid-shaped headquarters of Pyramid, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my eye glued to the news that, apparently, we’re having a presidential election next year. Didn’t we just have one of these? Smash Mouth was right: the years start coming and they … Continue reading 2024 Candidates: Nikki Haley
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the man who was drenched in sleazy scandals but somehow never drowned in them, is finally out at Number 10. What felled him was one final hurrah of sleaze: a scandal in which Johnson put a serial sexual harasser in a key governmental position and then had to feign surprise when he did some more sexual harassing. This, on top … Continue reading Who The ‘ell Are All These Prats, Then?: Looking at the 2022 Conservative leadership race
This is going to basically just be a list of all the batshit insane things Dr. Oz has said, but let’s start properly: in this installment of Who the Fuck are all these Fucks?, we’ll be looking at Mehmet Oz, who is apparently running for the U.S. Senate. NAME: Mehmet Cegniz ÖzAGE: 61CURRENT JOB: Television charlatanPREVIOUS JOB: Actual doctorIS IT BETTER TO MAKE A JOKE … Continue reading Mehmet Oz, doctor who advocated for the deaths of tens of thousands of children, running for U.S. Senate
In 2024, an army of Republicans will seek the party’s nomination – assuming former president Donald Trump doesn’t – in an effort to topple the country’s oldest president. Here are six of the likeliest candidates as of November 2021. One would be forgiven for thinking that the two-term New Jersey governor who spent much of the Trump administration being called obese by Donald Trump of … Continue reading The Men Who Would Be Next
On November 2, New Yorkers will head the polls to pick their next mayor. Democrat Bill de Blasio is term limited, so voters have two fresh faces: Democratic Eric Adams, a retired NYPD officer; and Curtis Silwa, who is like if Frasier was also Batman. In heavily Democratic New York City, Adams is favored to win by a mile. To get to be the party’s … Continue reading The Forward Party is Andrew Yang’s brilliant scheme to keep himself relevant
