2020 Candidates: John Hicka… John Hinken… Ol’ Johnny H
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. Another day, another torment. We continue our nonstop around the clock coverage of the slow-moving train crash that is the 2020 … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: John Hicka… John Hinken… Ol’ Johnny H
2020 Candidates: Jay Inslee
Batten down the hatches and get below deck, it’s the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates. We’re continuing this eternal struggle with today’s newest candidate because I’ve learned that you really want to know about the news as it happens and not a couple days later. Weirdos. NAME: Jay Robert Inslee AGE: 68 OCCUPATION: Governor of Washington PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: Congressman DISLIKES: Climate change LIKES: The taste of … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Jay Inslee
2020 Candidates: Andrew Yang
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. It is, impossibly, time to continue our march down the solemn highway of the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, so here I … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Andrew Yang
2020 Candidates: John Delaney
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. Hello, friends. We’re touching the bottom of the barrel as we move into part ? of our ??? part series on … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: John Delaney
2020 Candidates: Pete Buttigieg
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. We’re making our way downtown with part eight in this Our Long National Nightmare series on the Democratic 2020 nominees. As a reader … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Pete Buttigieg
2020 Candidates: Bernie Sanders
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. Welcome back to part seven in our everlong series on the Democratic nominees. I’ve waited here for you. We’re talking about … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Bernie Sanders
2020 Candidates: Amy Klobuchar
Today, Amy Klobuchar announced her candidacy for president, and while I was going to take a break from these I was quite literally bribed into doing one, so here we are. It’s part six of our neverending story, mortals. NAME: Amy Jean Klobuchar CAN I CALL HER A.J.?: Probably not CURRENT JOB: U.S. Senator from Minnesota PREVIOUS JOB: Hennepin County Attorney DON’TCHA KNOW: You betcha … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Amy Klobuchar
2020 Candidates: Elizabeth Warren
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. There’s solid evidence that this is part five of the witch’s curse we’re calling “coverage of the 2020 presidential election” and … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Elizabeth Warren
2020 Candidates: Kamala Harris
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. It’s part four – four? – of our ongoing series on the Democratic presidential nominees and we’ve got Kamala Harris, United … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Kamala Harris
2020 Candidates: Kirsten Gillibrand
Welcome to our recurring series “Who The Fuck Are All These Fucks?” in which we profile, in brief, each of the 2020 candidates for president. This series is not meant to be exhaustive, and you’re encouraged to look into each candidate on your own. Every time I go to make one of these a new candidate pops up. I’m not even sweating it. We’ll get … Continue reading 2020 Candidates: Kirsten Gillibrand